Isn’t it funny how quickly we can assume something is our fault.
Someone is quiet with us.
A colleague reacts badly.
A client doesn’t respond to a message.
A conversation quietens as we get closer.
And almost without thinking, we start asking ourselves:
What have I done?
Have I upset them?
Should I have handled it differently?
I have a simple image I use to help challenge this.
Imagine carrying a coin around with you.
On one side it says:
“It’s all about me.”
On the other:
“It’s not all about me.”
When something happens and you immediately start blaming yourself, ask: Which side of the coin am I looking at?
Of course, sometimes we do need to take responsibility for our part in a situation.
But too often we take responsibility for things that simply aren’t ours to carry.
Someone else’s mood is theirs. As are their reactions and choices.
We can’t control those things … and we don’t need to own them.
So next time you catch yourself thinking, “It’s all my fault,” pause and turn the coin over. It might not be about you at all.
And sometimes, remembering that can be incredibly freeing.
What side of the coin do you tend to look at?
And if your inner voice is constantly blaming you whether it’s your fault or not, then book a free communication strategy call and let’s see if I can help you.
