Acting with you to communicate successfully

This newsletter really should come with a soundtrack from Robbie Williams of Let Me Entertain you! As you know, many of the trainers at Partners With You are actors so you’d expect a little razzamatazz to creep into our lives now and again, but this autumn we’ve really excelled ourselves.

Director Neil Roberts has been starring in a new Disney series called Life Bites on Disney Channel UK and our featured workshop leader Kieron Smith is helping the festive season glitter by directing the panto at Greenwich and organising the firework display at Legoland. Other workshop leaders have been busy: Paul Ryan is in Mama Mia in the West End and Simon Nock has just finished filming Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince.

This issue of our newsletter is all about how best to communicate successfully and with the economic climate being as volatile as it is, now is the time to make sure that we are all performing at the top of our game. 

Disney's Life bites

Successful communication isn’t something that will only benefit your performance at work.  The skills and tips you learn on one of our workshops will also help you at home.

Patricia Singleton of Barclays Bank PLC says “I have certainly found the change in attitude that Partners With You training has provided me with has been invaluable both at home with the family and at work.  In particular, that in saying 'no' to something you are not rejecting the person, only saying no to the request and at the same time managing expectations all round."

Neil Roberts, who plays Richard, the father of the Life Bites family, explains, “The Life Bites TV series is all about how teenagers see the world and the humour of the show comes from how families fail to connect as a result of less than perfect communication.  Richard’s communication style just wasn’t on the same wavelength as his teenagers.  We all have different ways we process information and a fatal error with teenagers, as well as work colleagues, is to presume that everyone communicates in the same way as we do.

“All teenagers want is to be shown respect, which can be easily done by listening better and using eye contact. You have one mouth and two ears and we should use them proportionally.  If your teenager, or co-worker for that matter, has their head stuck in a computer and you call across the room to them, it’s not surprising if what you say doesn’t register.  Sit down next to them and get them to look at you: it’s simple but effective.

“Think about how your kids and colleagues react to you and if there are more negatives than positives, brushing up on your communication skills could really pay dividends across all aspects of your life.  A great technique anyone can try is the ‘what, when, why’ method. Tell them what you want, when you want it and most importantly why you want it – and not just because ‘I said so!’” advises Neil. 

Peter Cox of Thomas Cox & Co Solicitors said, “My wife suddenly became aware that I had become less ‘grumpy’, that I was now perceived as being a really positive person and that I was seemingly able to get more of what I wanted at home because I gently used the ‘what,  when, why’ technique. This has been really impressive as it has so improved the quality of our home lives in every respect!!”

Neil concludes, “In one scene, my screen wife is making different meals for every single member of the family and I swan in and try and take over.  I ignore her on-going issues with the children’s picky eating habits and decide that I know best.  Reality dawns inevitably and I end up ordering in pizza as I can’t cope.  Just how close that relates to some people’s bombastic management style, I leave it up to you to decide”.

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Stop press

Neil Roberts has just joined the board of the London HR Connection (LHRC).   LHRC is one of the leading human resources networks in London which inspires, informs and challenges its members who meet regularly for an update on issues of current interest in the world of people management and development. Although part of the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development, you don’t need to be a CIPD member to join LHRC - www.londonhr.org.

“I have found LHRC to be a fantastic forum for our community and have been both inspired and motivated by the speakers. I wanted to be more involved and was keen to help the board” explains Neil.

Successful Communication Case Studies

Successful communication is a skill which everyone who works with other people can benefit from.  Here’s how two of our clients from very different industries have benefited from their training sessions with us:

Warner Bros.

Warner Bros. wants to create a culture of no boundaries and to have an open and collaborative environment. Andrew Bowen, interim UK Training Manager, of Warner Bros. says, “I think it’s important to build people’s confidence so that they realise they can speak up and be assertive in expressing their opinions, needs and expectations in order to do their job well.”

Partners With You regularly runs its one day Successful Communication course to help make this happen. The sessions are made up largely of practical exercises and cover various techniques to help delegates appear confident, avoid stress, build rapport, deal with difficult situations, improve working relationships and get better results when communicating.

Andrew explains, “These courses are particularly good at building confidence and helping to make all communication successful from the other person’s point of view. Staff at all levels within the business attend the courses and we consistently get very good feedback.”

“We have some great staff and would like them to have the opportunity to work in other parts of the business from TV to film, digital to products. Building the teams’ communication skills and creating an open environment goes a long way in achieving this” concludes Andrew.

Quintiles & Innovex

Quintiles & Innovex are an outsourcing provider to the pharmaceutical industry. They are a global leader in pharmaceutical services offering product development and commercialisation services.

Kevin England, Associate Director, Management Development (Europe) explains, “In our business, it’s important for our staff to refine their communication skills, build confidence and portray competence in all areas of their work to ensure they are perceived positively by our customers.”

Quintiles & Innovex staff also need to influence and negotiate with clear concise messages to their clients and their teams. Jo Briggs, Senior Trainer, Management Development (Europe) says, “The staff are brilliant at what they do, but they need to be able to communicate that to others effectively. That ability also helps their opportunities within the company.”

Kevin concludes, “Some people might think using actors is a novelty and fun, but I don’t look at it like that. I think: why would you have anyone else? They come from a different perspective; they haven’t just read a book about it and know the theory, they have the personal experience, ability and have lived it. The skills and techniques they impart are core to their profession and so they are absolutely the right people to train others in these areas. Being on the Successful Communication course has helped improve staff performance and their ability to convey confidence.”

The Successful Communication course covers a range of topics which all help deliver results: for example, the language of authority and confidence, being concise, honest and direct, creating a positive impression, body language and putting behaviour in perspective.

Profile – Kieron Smith

It’s nearly Christmas and for those of you with families, you may be surprised that one of our trainers, Kieron Smith, may have had a hand in delighting your kids.

Not only is Kieron a professional actor and workshop leader with us, but he’s also directing the pantomime in Greenwich this year (Jack and the Beanstalk if you’re thinking of visiting) and he’s written the script for the Star Wars firework display at Legoland. As part of his work with the Merlin Entertainments Group (who own the Tussauds Group, The Dungeons, Sea Life Centres and Legoland), Kieron writes and directs shows across Europe and the USA.  A man of many talents obviously…

Kieron’s TV work includes the popular soap Coronation Street, The Return of Sherlock Holmes, Perfect Scoundrels and Gulliver's Travels with Ted Danson (from the American sitcom Cheers).

Kieron’s work in the West End has included The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, The Horse and His Boy, The Magicians Nephew, To Kill A Mockingbird and The Hobbit.  He has also been in many classics such as: Rebecca, Cider with Rosie, Bouncers and Oliver Twist. 

He has been Director at the Unicorn Theatre in Leicester Square and associate director of The Liverpool Playhouse. Shows he’s directed include:  Alfie, Twelfth night, A Midsummer Nights Dream, The History Plays and Shakers. He’s directed many shows for children including: The Wind in the Willows, Tales of Tom Kitten, Stig of the Dump, as well as last years panto at Greenwich - Dick Wittington.

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Successful Communication tips from Kieron:

What, when, why:

Many of us find it really hard to ask for something assertively. This may be because we were bought up to believe it is rude to ask for what we want or we think somehow others have a crystal ball and will know how to please us.

The best way to ask for what you want is to ask directly with the appropriate tone of voice and volume together with assertive body language: so remember to state:

1. What you want
2. When you want it
3. Why you want it

We are constantly being told by our clients that using this technique above all others has gained them respect both at work and at home.

Just say no:

You have a right to say no and by not saying no when you mean it, you are in effect saying that you are less important than the other person. It is necessary that when you say no, you say it with a confident voice and good posture otherwise the person opposite won’t believe you. Many of us believe that by saying no we are implying that we are rejecting the other person; or at least being unhelpful and unreasonable.  All you are doing is refusing a specific request.

Be honest, direct and concise:

Many of us over explain and over apologise when we say no to others. We believe it lessens the harshness of refusing the request. It doesn’t. It usually just makes us sound inept, simpering and ineffective. Be concise, honest and direct and you’ll feel much more in control.

The Shut Up Pause:

State your position or request and then stop talking! 

This technique gives the other person the chance to assimilate what you have said and respond while you control the conversation. It is astonishing how often we feel the need to “fill the space” and start to prattle on – control the conversation by allowing the other person to speak!

Relax:

When you relax and breathe deeply in the bottom of the lungs, everything that you do with your voice feels and sounds easier. Good breathing supports the voice, gives it richness, helps to eliminate a nervous shaky voice, places the pitch more naturally, delivers a warmer tone and is easier to listen to. Here’s how you do it:

1. Sit down and close your eyes
2. Become aware of your breathing
3. Breathe in to the count of 7 and breathe out to the count of 11
4. The out breath needs to be longer than the in breath
5. Continue breathing this way for a few minutes

Authority:

Resonance in the voice gives a rounded, rich sound. It gives your voice weight, depth and substance, helping you sound confident and gives your message the impression of credibility and authority. It also stops you sounding shrill. Voices that resonate well are pleasant to listen to. Bizarre as it may sound, this exercise encourages resonance (but please try it out somewhere private!):

1. Hum at a comfortable level
2. As you hum, tap your chest vigorously
3. Stop tapping but continue humming and try and recapture the resonant sound
4. Repeat several times

Eye Contact:

Eye contact is really important in communication as it helps engage with others.  It helps you to focus and allows the other person to open up and therefore improves the flow of the conversation. If you are meeting with several people make sure that you engage with all of them.

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Forthcoming public courses 2009

To find out more and book online click here...

Voice CD

If you’d like to have a reminder of what you’ve learnt at either our public workshops or at an in-house training session, then our Voice CD is an ideal tool for you. 

Priced at £27.60 (which includes vat and p&p) our Voice CD will help you communicate successfully time after time after time:  it’s designed so that anyone can follow the wide range of exercises on offer to help make communication a piece of cake.

To find out more and buy online click here...

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Contact Partners With You

If you’ve any questions about communications training or if you would like to give us some feedback on anything you’ve read, please contact us at:

19 Sandy Lodge Road, Rickmansworth, Hertfordshire, WD3 1LP
t: 01923 842435  e: info@partnerswithyou.co.uk

©2008 Partners With You